Addiction, You are Not Alone!

The letter you are about to read is true and from my daughter.

Dear Dad,

I really don't even know where to begin...

It all started out that I wanted to be skinny... and throwing up had become too much of a chore to hide.

I was told that a couple lines here and there wouldn't hurt anyone. That's what I was told anyways. I went from snorting lines here and there to everyday off and on for about a year.

Then one day I was asked is I had ever smoked meth before.

I was told it was alot better than snorting it... and there was no burn or disgusting drain.

That's all it took.

I watched how it was done and caught on rapidly.

I was from that day on a "meth"smoker.

It didn't take long at all before I started using more than what I did before and I found myself needing a way to pay for my addiction.

So, I started selling meth to support my habit, but that wasn't enough. I had started selling in such a high amount, that I quickly became "friends" with my cook... and then, I was little by little becoming a part of the cooking crew as well.

It was alot easier than I ever realized, especially since I had known the cook since I was 10 years old. Not only did we have our childhood memories, but we also had an addiction that became an obsession in common.

We were great at making money... and at manufacturing meth, we were even better. I couldn't even tell you how easy it was. I went from selling eight balls and quarter ounces to selling half pounds and pounds over night.

It took me going to prison
to be able to get sober...

And, as much as prison took away a part of my life

... it also gave me my life back...

and a much better one at that!

I had gotten in trouble and everything came to a crashing to a hault.

I was put on drug court and given the chance to do that and probation with my plea deal...

but I wasn't ready to let go of my addiction.

I was in such denial that it had gotten as big as it did, that I lied to everyone including myself.

It should have been a piece of cake to complete drug court,

but I just wasn't ready.

It wasn't just an addiction... it was my way of life.

I couldn't fathom the thought of waking up without having at least a bowl. I even went to drug court high... the few times that I did go.

I then decided to not go to my sentencing and obscound. I went on the run... promising my family that I would go to rehab if they would just help me get to them...

I never made it.

I was on the run for about 6 months, and was with a friend at her friends house and the police were called because his children had been having poor attendance at school.

And, just like that, it was over.

I was taken into county jail and
 was sent to prison from there.

Thank God, I didn't get caught with anything else, so I didn't get any new charges.

I was sent to prison for possession with intent to sell. A class D felony in the state of Nevada.

My sentence was 12-36 months Nevada State Prison.

My original charges were high level trafficking of a controlled substance 100.8 grams, manufacturing a controlled substance, possession with intent to sell, and conspiracy to violate the controlled substance act.

I was facing life...

1-10 years, 1-5 years and 1-4 years in prison. Me and my codefendants were being indicted by the Grand Jury. I had no idea what all of that meant when I went to court.

My plea deal was only offered to me because I was the only one in my case with such a limited criminal history, everyone else had already been to prison or on probation.

Doing the time in prison was the easy part...me having to tell my parents...

 I was going to prison...

was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

They believed in me, even when they shouldn't have and when I didn't even believe in myself.

Out of all of this, I wouldn't change the fact that I went to prison for anything.

It gave me my life back... and a much better one at that!

Instead of EXISTING while being high...

 I am now LIVING while being sober.

Dad, I love you with all my heart!

Forever,

Julie

My Dear Julie,

Words are totally inadequate to tell you how much I love you.

There is no doubt in my mind that you have a tremendous life ahead of you. You and Mike, have incredible opportunities that lie ahead of you. Together,  you hold in each others hands the heart of the other. You both can caress and care for that heart and mold them together as one or you can neglect them and leave them to simply exist. The choice is yours and yours alone.

I wish I could tell you "life" will be easy but, you both know differently. No, it will not be easy but, with the two of you together as one, there is no doubt it will be wonderful for you both.

It has been said, ...it is not how far or how hard we fall, it is how high we bounce from the fall, dust ourselves off and continue on our journey...

Julie, I have never given up hope. I refused to allow the evil in this world to take my family from me. I thank God everyday that You, Josh, Jonathan and now Mike are in our hearts and our lives everyday. I do not take that gift lightly, for without the "divine" intervention in the events of each of your lives, we would not have you with us today.

I love all of you with all of my heart.

Stay steadfast on the pathway of the "new" life you have chosen. Look to the comfort and guidance of God if you get discouraged. You have so much to give back to the world and to others...listen to your own heart...

Julie, I will always be there for you, my love for you is unconditional. The gift of having your laughter back in my life is truly a blessing of incredible magnitude, never forget for one minute Julie, that I am and will always be your...

Dad